Insanity Unchained
by DarkMagister06
Summary: What would have happened if on the night of Naruto's seventh birthday he had snapped and gone happily insane? What if he had witnessed something that changed him forever? Team will not be traditional team 7. M for language, and gore. Other warnings will appear as necessary. Insane Naruto, Dark Naruto, Strategic Naruto. No Pairings decided.
1. Chapter 1

**Unleashed Insanity**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Breaking point**

**Naruto - Four months old**

A few months had passed after the Kyuubi had attacked the great shinobi village of Konoha, and a baby lay deathly silent in its crib. It was hungry as its rumbling stomach would attest to but still it did not cry out. The child was freezing a slight blue tint to its lips and its skin, but still it made not a sound. The child was not dead though, that was certain by the shining blue eyes that gazed up at the passing nurse. He had learned that urge to cry brought people, and those people would not feed him. All they brought him was pain.

As the nurse passed by the child lifted his arms towards her in a weak attempt to be fed but she walked by, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the helpless child. This was a common occurrence and the child simply registered it would have to wait longer to be fed. It continued to wait for several more days.

* * *

**Naruto - Eleven months**

The child was nearing his first birthday, an occasion that many celebrated. The child had learned to walk quickly as he had found crawling left him open to being kicked out of the way. He had been a quick study in escaping and pain had been his teacher. He was now using its knowledge of how to walk in an attempt to hide as the orphanage workers grew more angry, and often, more violent towards him. It wasn't long before the other kids had learned picking on him was rewarded and praised.

It wasn't long after that he learned to avoid everyone he could. People brought pain, but when he was hiding he was safe.

"Here he is!" The child started to tremble. He hadn't hid well enough today...

* * *

**Naruto - Year and a half**

The boy was currently playing with a ball he would bounce against the wall. He was alone, so he felt safe enough to play and smile. That changed quickly as he heard the voices of some of the other kids getting closer. Abandoning the ball, he jumped to his feet and began running. Running was faster, faster to find a place to hide, faster to be safe. Almost stumbling by a storage closet, he made a gamble and stretched on his toes to open the door, quickly moving inside to the very back.

Was he safe? Would the voices find him? He hugged his knees as he waited, the voices drawing near before stopping outside of his door. Hearing the bounce of a ball, he realized he had made a mistake. They were looking now, and when they looked, it meant they found. Trembling as the voices didn't move he started crying silently. _Please... Go away..._

The door opened and Naruto immediately identified the four boys, and the worker standing behind them. The worker was one that never actually beat him, so he wouldn't be hurt too badly, but he was more than happy to turn a blind eye. Such as when the boys stepped inside and began advancing on the cowering boy. A closed door does wonders for soundproofing apparently.

"Please... Don't..." The boy feebly begged his soon to be attackers but they ignored his words. They hadn't been the first, nor where they the last.

Laying on the ground, blood flowing from his split lip and bruises already forming on his arms where he had protected his face, he noticed that the boys were smiling. He lay crumpled and bleeding on the ground, but still he saw their happy faces. His pain made them happy.

Would theirs make him happy?

* * *

**Naruto - Three years old**

He was getting better at hiding. Nobody had found him on his birthday this time. As the boy gingerly set down a cupcake he had stolen from the festival he pulled out a small candle he had also stolen that day. One of many he had seen in a drawer along with a box of matches. Taking one out, he attempted to light the match, only succeeding in burning himself on the first few attempts. Finally with one of the last few matches left in the box he got the candle lit.

"Happy Birthday..." How did the song go? He had heard the other kids sing it... But usually he was chased away before he heard the whole thing. "Happy Birthday to me." Simply forgetting the song he blew out the candle and he made his wish.

_Please don't let them hurt me._

Kami had other plans as Naruto heard the familiar words that made his blood run cold. "Here he is!"

* * *

**Naruto - A month after turning Five**

The boy had grown from a scrawny baby, to a malnourished toddler, to a starving renter. He had been kicked out of the orphanage at five but for some reason the Hokage himself had soon found the boy and offered him his own apartment and a little money to buy groceries. It wasn't much but Naruto finally had a place he wasn't scared to stay in. It had cost most of the money the Hokage gave him as an allowance but Naruto had been ecstatic to finally have somewhere that was his own.

"I'm telling you, he lives in here!" Naruto froze as he stepped out of his bedroom. He had somewhere that was his... The door being kicked in and a number of people rushing in made it clear that there were other costs as well to having his own apartment.

One such cost being his introduction to torture. Once everyone else had gone a lone man moved from the bedroom to the curled up ball that was Naruto. "So you're still fine huh monster?" _Monster? What I ever done to be a monster? All you people ever do is hurt me! You're monsters!__  
_

Taking out a kitchen knife the man introduced Naruto first hand to the sensation of skinning.

It took three days in the hospital for Naruto to finally wake up.

* * *

**Naruto - Almost Six years old**

Naruto was finally being aloud out of the hospital once again. Another beating he couldn't feel had left him with stab wounds, a variety of blunt force trauma injuries, a concussion and a new set of broken bones. Starting his way back to the apartment he knew had been broken into to see how much it would cost to replace his furniture, he smelled something amazing coming from a small shop with only a curtain for a door and a few chairs to sit at a counter to be served. Deciding to take a chance Naruto walked inside and was introduced to Ichiraku Ramen.

He soon overwhelmingly bought his meals from there as he was not cheated, poisoned, beaten, attacked, or abused. Quickly Teuchi and Ayame gave him the title of number one customer and Naru-kun respectively.

They even went so far as on his birthday to take him six bowls of ramen. It truly was Naruto's best birthday ever.

* * *

**A few months later**

It was a crisp morning when Naruto walked out of his apartment towards his now favorite food place, Ichiraku Ramen. Teuchi and Ayame had made it abundantly clear that he was always welcome and that he was a pleasure to have. He wasn't sure why they so kind to him but it was something special to him. Every other shop had cheated or slighted him in some way yet a simple home run stand seemed so accepting of him. It was a place he felt he could truly be happy inside of.

Jogging towards the stand he made it in record time jumping onto a seat ordering two of his usual loaded ramen bowls before he had even finished sitting. Ayame giggled at his antics but relayed the message to her father who started up on Naruto's special. "So Naru-kun, how are you? Having fun running around and playing?"

"Ya the playground is pretty fun, I like the swing." _No one else needs to play for a swing to be fun..._ Smiling brightly Naruto exclaimed, "But I like here even better! You have ramen!" Enthusiastically digging into the ramen he expertly changed the subject and continued to dig into the ramen. He was even going to order another bowl when two civilians walked into the shop and spotted Naruto getting up to leave.

"You serve HIM? What kind of establishment is this?" One of the men angrily added to his friends comment. "This is an insult you would allow something like IT in here!" Naruto made to move past them to keep Teuchi and Ayame from losing business but was stunned into stopping when Teuchi spoke.

"You're right... It is an insult." Naruto's eyes blurred with tears as one of only three people that had ever showed him an ounce of kindness insulted him. Then his eyes went wide with amazement. "You two, get the hell out. I don't serve rude fools. Naruto, two free bowls for putting up with them, come and sit." Turning around he saw shock in the two civilians faces and a happy grin and a devious smirk from Ayame and Teuchi.

"You... You can't treat us like this! We are COUNCIL members! How DARE you speak to us like that!" One of the men made to move forward before Teuchi's next words stunned them even more than the first had.

"I don't care who you are. Insult my number one customer and you can get the hell out of my shop. I don't have time for your stupidity. Naruto, would you like pork or chicken?" His angry glare turned into a kind smile the second his eyes fell on Naruto and the boy couldn't help but start crying in happiness.

"One of each please Teuchi-jiji." Wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his t-shirt he saw that the council members had left slack-jawed and stunned the ramen chef had been so disrespectful to them.

"Coming right up. Ayame get Naruto some water, it looks like he would like a cup." Smiling gently at the boy, he reached out and ruffled the boys hair before heading into the kitchen.

Naruto had trouble wiping the grin off his face the rest of the day.

As Naruto started spending all of his free time inside the small shop more and more civilians were alienated in the same way the council members were. Anyone that insulted Naruto in the shop, regardless of whether he was there was told to leave and not return until they had learned etiquette. Instead of losing business though, word got around that the Hokage himself favored the little ramen stand above every other restaurant in Konoha and it quickly developed into a shinobi eatery specifically open late with even mission boxes for shinobi that had to leave with little to no time to step and get food.

Naruto couldn't believe Ayame and Teuchi had gone to all the trouble of defending him but it made a special impression on him. There were now three people he truly cared about. Ayame, Teuchi-jiji, and Hokage-jiji.

* * *

**Naruto's Seventh Birthday - Night of the Kyuubi Slaying Festival**

"...Aaaaaaand haaaaaaapppy biiiiiiiiiiiiiirthdaaaaaaaay toooooo yooouuuuu!" Ayame and Teuchi had seven bowls of the Uzamaki Birthday Special ramen in front of them and a giddily happy and crying boy. Naruto couldn't stop crying in happiness at the bowls in front of him. They had been made by mixing all of his favorite ingredients from each ramen bowl into one massive combination each with a sparkler lit on the counter behind them instead of candles.

His sixth birthday had been special just from the gift of the ramen but this time they had not only convinced him to come to the stand, they had emptied it out to throw up banners that proudly proclaimed, "Naruto! Our 1# Customer and Birthday Boy!" The entire shop was decorated for his birthday. He had broken down the second he had seen all the colors, hugging the two people responsible for such a fantastic surprise.

Through the song he had barely held his composure as it was the first time someone had sung it to him instead of singing it alone hidden somewhere around the village. His last birthday had been the best one he had ever had, but this one easily topped it. Nothing could change this day for the child...

Nothing tends to be a very limited idea...

"Hey, I think the brat is in there!" Naruto's blood ran cold as he identified the voices of sober men. Sober and very angry men. "Ya I see him! He's in that damn ramen shop. The one that thinks it's too GOOD to sell to us civilians. The one's that sided with IT instead of us HUMANS!" That last word brought a question to Naruto's mind. _It...? Am... am I... Am I NOT a human? But then, what am I?__  
_

"Naruto, ignore them. I'll go get rid of them, so finish the rest of your ramen." Teuchi gave the boy a kind smile, one that eased all of his fears. Teuchi then proceeded out into the street that had gathered a small number of angry civilians leaving Naruto to his fifth bowl. He had just managed to finish the sixth when the voices got heated and he heard the dull thud of something hard hitting flesh, followed by the heavier thud of a body hitting the ground. Naruto was out of the shop at the sound of the hit in time to see Teuchi go down in a pile at the feet of what looked like the leader of the now sizable group of civilians.

_No... Teuchi-jiji?_ There was blood coming from his ear. _Blood means... They hurt him. He might be... is he dead?_ The thought filled Naruto with more dread than he thought was possible. Running under the legs of the crowd before they could start kicking the downed man, Naruto was cradling his head. "Teuchi-jiji, wake up... Please wake up... Don't be hurt, please be okay. Please be okay, please be okay, please, please, please..." It became a chant that was faster and more frantic by the second as Teuchi didn't even so much as give a deep breath.

"Look what we got here, the brat himself worried his meat shield went down so quick!" Something came down hard on Naruto's back, something blunt and made of metal. The pain stopped Naruto from hyperventilating by driving the breath from him. He felt someone grab him by his throat and threw him off Teuchi, were he began to be kicked, punched, and hit with whatever the villagers had in their possession from bottles to lumber, and even pipes. Naruto didn't care though. He had long since stopped being able to feel the villagers attempts to harm him, in fact even their torture had stopped holding the same pain they thought would satisfy them.

_Teuchi-jiji is... dead._ That one thought echoed in Naruto's head as he felt the pressure from the blows but he was numb to the world as his mind tried to shut down. _He's... Dead._ It echoed and with each echo, Naruto's mind struggled to shut his sanity away. It stopped it's struggle when he heard the scream of a lone girl's voice. "Stop! Leave Naru-kun ALONE!" The blows paused for a moment, and Naruto felt two weak arms wrap around him and tears falling onto his face. His eyes were too unfocused to really identify Ayame over him but he knew here voice.

"Ayame... Go... Please..." _She has to stay safe. She needs to leave, she needs to go, she..._ His eyes finally focusing revealed why the beating had stopped so suddenly. Tears were falling from her eyes, but so was blood. Following the trail of red, Naruto saw there was a knife in her neck. A knife she had taken to keep it from killing Naruto._ She's..._ Her arms grew even weaker and her eyes grew cloudy. _She's..._ She was no longer holding herself up, she was falling to the side of Naruto, her eyes unseeing. _She's... _With a small thud as she hit the ground beside Naruto, a pool of blood was quickly forming a halo of red around her head.

_She's dead. _It was like a switch had been thrown in Naruto's mind as he stared at her the blood slowing as she became more pale. Everyone stared in open shock, the demon was the one that was supposed to be lying dead, not an innocent twelve year old girl. But for Naruto the switch had been flipped... or more like a floodgate had been opened.

_They call me a monster... Monsters kill. Monsters hurt... Monsters take precious people... They call me a monster... I'm not human. They call ME monster... I see monsters... I want to hurt the monsters... I want to kill the monsters... Monsters take precious people... Monsters took my precious people._ Reaching down, Naruto gently laid his hand on Ayame's cheek but he did not cry. He was on his knees beside his now deceased friend, his deceased family, but still he didn't cry. "Who?" It was a simple question, one that snapped the civilians back to the boy.

"I did it! And next it's your..." The boy had rested a hand on her cheek not to comfort herself. The dagger was closer that way. The man who had been speaking found that Naruto had suddenly moved to his chest, slitting his throat. In the blink of an eye, the boy had moved and everyone saw something that brought fear into their hearts. Instead of the blue eyes the child was renowned for, eyes as red as blood with an abyss slit through them were glaring out at them.

"Who hit Teuchi?" It was not a question anymore. It was a death sentence for the one outed. The guilty man turned to run and once again the boy blinked out of existence to the terrified villagers. Their fears were answered as they heard the man hit the floor, wet gasps escaping his lips as he tried to form words through his severed windpipe.

"Who's next?" Suddenly the group thought that it wasn't a good idea to be there anymore. They ran. Naruto ran faster.

* * *

**Hokage Chambers - Seventh Annual Kyuubi Slaying Festival**

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the man known as the Professor sat at his desk facing the most formidable foe he had ever faced and let out a deep sigh. It was always such a one sided battle but somehow he managed to come out on top, if just barely. Gazing at the paperwork stacked high upon his desk, the Third Hokage uttered yet another sigh. _Please give me something to get away from this damnable paperwork!_ He had been asking in a silent prayer as more of a joke, so he was completely and utterly surprised when one of the ANBU that were usually assigned to guard Naruto on this specific night burst into his office.

"Hokage-sama... He's lost it." With that the ANBU righted himself attempting to relay the situation as fast as possible. "Naruto Uzamaki is killing..." The ANBU hadn't even managed to finish a portion of his second sentence before the older man had shushined away.

_Naruto, what's happened? How? God help us all if 'IT' got loose..._ Turning to look around the apartment Naruto rented, he saw no boy, and no bodies so he went to the only other logical choice. Appearing before Ichiraku Ramen, Sarutobi was greeted with a gruesome spectacle. More then a half dozen bodies were littered about the ground their throat's slit or various lethal stab wounds in them. But what was utterly terrifying was Naruto was in the center covered in blood from head to toe, a knife layered in blood beside him as he stroked the hair of a dead Ayame whose head was sitting on his lap.

"Naruto?" The Hokage was almost afraid to stir the boy, afraid he actually was the one responsible for the slaughter.

"Hi Jiji. Shhhh, you'll wake up Ayame-chan. She's sleeping..." The tears that stained his face as he stared at the Hokage with dead eyes disturbed the older shinobi. He had seen men that had faced war had eye more alive than what he saw in Naruto. His blue eyes had lost their shine, and instead were glazed over and hazy.

"Naruto, you... You should let Ayame-chan rest... Come over here and you can have a hug." The Hokage was shocked to see that Naruto gently complied moving her head from his lap before walking up to the Hokage, his eyes not losing the slightest trace of wrongness that the Hokage could see. Embracing the boy when he stood before him, his Hokage robes slowly turned red but Sarutobi was beyond caring. Naruto felt dead in his arms and hardly reacted at all to the embrace.

_Dear god Naruto... What happened to you?_

"I got rid of the monsters Jiji. I got rid of so many monsters today." Stiffening at the happiness the boy was suddenly exuding he moved Naruto to arms length and was shocked at the sudden... Life... that had seemed to come to the boy. It was as if he was back to who he was before... Whatever this was... "Are you proud of me Jiji?"

"Naruto... What did you do to get rid of the... the monsters?" He was afraid to admit he already had his assumptions but he prayed they were wrong. Kami was not answering prayers this night though.

"I killed them Jiji. They hurt Teuchi-jiji, then Ayame-chan went to sleep. Then I killed them. The other monsters are gone now. I'm the only monster left. Aren't you happy? I'm the last monster!" Instead of the usual laugh the Hokage had heard from the boy and grown to enjoy, an insane cackle began before the boy cut off and looked back at Ayame on the floor. Putting his finger up to his lips he let out a low shhhh, before erupting into more insane giggles, ones that didn't stop as he was once again in the tight embrace of the Hokage.

The Professor was not a weak man, but on this night all who saw him could see the tears he shed.

* * *

**AN: Alright I feel kinda guilty for doing this to anyone eagerly waiting for an update to The Snake's Charm and the Fox's Tale, but I've been trying to write ahead for a bit so I can make more regular updates, and figure out some plot points. This is not replacing my other story it's just one I've been kicking around for so long I couldn't keep from writing bits and pieces until eventually... Had a whole chapter going. My other story is not ended or on Hiatus, I'm just very slow, so I need to apologize for that. This story will come together as a side project as I write Fox's Tale, so hopefully, the update schedule will be that one several times more often than this one.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: New Chains**

Hiruzen Sarutobi sighed after having to rotate the ANBU unit that followed him once again at yet another checkpoint. He was currently on his way to see one of the most dangerous and unstable individuals that was currently incarcerated. He had already escaped confinement over a dozen times in his brief six years locked away but not once had he repeated the massacre that he was now renowned for. Walking deep underground inside the ANBU base that doubled as the detention center for a single resident.

The council had started demanding the prisoner be put to use in suicide missions when it was found that after being attacked by a full unit of three ANBU, the prisoner had escaped without a scratch. The ANBU were not so lucky. Sarutobi had to use many of the political favors he had accumulated over his reign as the Third Hokage, but eventually had garnered a deal for the boy. Or more accurately, it had taken every work around and loophole he could find, but it still meant that he had found a way to give Naruto a chance. The Hokage gave a small, sad smile when he looked at the info card that resided beside the cell's reinforced steel door.

**Naruto Uzamaki**  
**Condition:** Mentally Unstable, Insane  
**Danger: **Docile if spoken to; Extreme if attacked, Do Not Engage**  
**

It was amazing how well the village had crafted a jinchuuriki unparalleled in the art of dealing death. He stood at the door for a few moments hesitating in his decision. With a heavy heart the Hokage prepared himself for seeing Naruto. Opening the door and stepping in his gaze immediately fell on the condition of the room that housed him.

From wall to wall the room was littered with every kind of book imaginable. Children's story books, Mathematics, Gardening, Psychology, Physics, fantasy books, training manuals, Taijutsu stances, chakra control exercises, chakra control theories, anything and everything that had been documented at one point or another could be found in a pile. The astonishing part wasn't the open books though, it was all the notes and writings that littered the area around them that gave an onlooker a pause. He had plot notes in the Biology books, Mythological comparisons for the fantasy, tests and results for physics, number series for mathematics, connections to theory and application and a drawing of what he thought a dragon might look like if combined with a chicken.

The last observation made the Professor chuckle as he couldn't specifically recall that being tied to anything but Naruto's own mind. As with many things about Naruto, there was no pattern or logic if you looked at the surface of it but deep down, buried somewhere was a tactical mind that scared ANBU into a DNE and terrified anyone who heard about his exploits.

"Hey Jiji, sorry about the mess. I know you prefer when I clean up." Looking up at the sound of the voice, the Hokage's eyes locked with the piercing blue of Konoha's greatest lethal troublemaker. "Are you okay? You seem sad Jiji... Are you sad about the Dracken? I knew it should've been more dragon, less chicken... Maybe more chicken, less dragon?" Naruto gazed wide eyed at the implications and went to move when he remembered his Jiji was watching him and giving a sheepish grin.

Sarutobi gave the boy a small sad smile as he looked at Naruto's state of dress. He currently sat in an old pair of black shorts, ones that had faded far enough to call a dark gray, and was currently wearing a white straight jacket so covered in seals it may as well have been black. Compounded to that was the pair of thick chakra steel ankle cuffs with an equally thick chain that ran between them, also littered in seals made to restrain the boy; but the Hokage had a plan to hopefully change that for the young child.

"No Naruto, your Dracken didn't make me sad. It's actually quiet amusing. No, what has me sad is that I have a spot in my genin teams and I can't seem to find anyone to fill it. If only there was a twelve year old with an extensive knowledge of ninja skills, preferably blonde, blue eyed, whiskered... But where can I get a child like that hmmm?" He had meticulously planned out just what to say to Naruto. It had taken a while to decide just how to broach the subject and he honestly felt a little bad about the way he was convincing Naruto to "volunteer" but he had to get a yes to complete the legal loopholes he was exploiting. After all Naruto was agreeing to a 'suicide mission' the council had practically demanded the Hokage give.

"I have no idea where you would get someone like that Jiji... I've been in my room for a while remember?" Trying to hold back his laughter at the incredulous look that was shot his way Naruto failed miserably and started laughing hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. "Oh sweet Kami! That look... That LOOOOOOk!" He howled the last word as his laughter took over yet again and left him breathless with tears streaming down his face. "Ahhhhh... Jiji, are you saying you'd like me to be a ninja?" His smile was wide and there was a sparkle in his eyes as he spoke and it gave the Professor hope that Naruto could go back to his "old" self.

"If I were, would you like to be one?" Holding his breath he could only hope Naruto could give the response that would both save and condemn the boy to a new life. He could only hope he was doing what was right for the boy, and pray that Naruto wasn't too far gone.

"I think I might Jiji. After all you know best." The innocent and lopsided grin Naruto had, bolstered the Hokage's hope and he let out the first real smile he had been able to muster in the boy's presence in a very long time. "My Jiji knows what's best." The grin stretched a little too wide and showed just a few too many teeth but the Hokage was already too busy explaining the restrictions, and the rules that would follow Naruto's new lifestyle. If only he had seen that insane gleam, or that feral grin maybe he would've realized sooner. Naruto wasn't coming back.

_The monster's coming out to play... Oh the monster gets to play, what a fun, fun, **FUN DAY!****  
**_

* * *

**Konoha Academy - Graduation Day**

"... and though the life of a shinobi is difficult I hope that each and every one of you is able to achieve your goals and aspire to dream bigger! Now it's time to announce the new teams for this academy year!" Iruka smiled proudly at the excited faces each of his students held, most of them anyways. Casting a quick glance at Sasuke Uchiha who was currently glaring out the window, followed by the usual glare at the sleeping Shikamaru Nara. "As I announce your teams come forward to meet your jonin instructors." This year his class had far exceeded the expectations and he believed many of the prospective genin would be able to pass the second true test, but there was never any guarantee about it. Before he knew it, he was already calling out team seven.

"Team Seven lead by Kakashi Hatake, will be Sasuke Uchiha, Hinata Hyuga, and Sakura Haruno!" Finishing the last syllable there was a loud scrapping of wood on wood as one child's seat practically blasted into the wall behind them.

"What do you mean I'm on the same team as the useless Haruno!" Hinata Hyuga stood in righteous fury and glared down at Iruka, demanding some kind of explanation. Iruka gave a sad sigh quietly praying to Kami to change her back into the shy girl she had been at the start of the academy. She had quickly grown out of her meek self after a particularly severe beating at the hands of several bullies. They had been hospitalized after she was done 'defending herself' and she had quickly lost her shy and quiet disposition. It was amazing how quickly whispers of dissent can be quelled when an heiress suddenly becomes the epitome of brutality and efficiency...

"That is the team you've been assigned Hyuga-san. If you have a complaint, feel free to take it up with Hokage-sama or wait until next year for a new team." Iruka shot the young girl a glare that would have quelled most children but she was made of sterner stuff and glared back as she asked her next question.

"Then where is our instructor, Sensei? Can't be much of a team if he can't be bothered to even attend the assignment of his genin." Iruka smirked knowing there was a hell of a lot more that he 'couldn't be bothered for' and she would quickly learn to either deal with it or berate him instead. _Stay a few hours, maybe it will help with that attitude problem._

"He'll be along. Wait here until he collects you. Team eight lead by Asuma Sarutobi, will be Ino Yamanaka, Choji Akimichi, and... Kiba Inuzuka?" Flipping through the paper for a moment, to reconfirm he was reading the assignment correctly he simply nodded to Asuma who then stepped forward to his rather unexpected team. "Finally, team ten lead by Kurenai Yuhi, will be Shino Aburame, and Shikamaru Nara... There's a note that you are to report to the Hokage's office immediately." _What the hell is going on with this year? Why was the infamous Kanoha trio broken apart and what's with this hastily scrawled note? This doesn't make any sense at all..._ Kurenai glanced at Iruka, possibly hoping for some kind of explanation but he didn't have one to give and could only shrug at her questioning gaze.

"Shino, wake up Shikamaru and let's get going." Issuing her first orders to her new team she couldn't help noticing that they hadn't been listed as a supplementary squad. Maybe he wished to explain simply what that meant to the genin? That had to be it... after all the class dynamics were made to help in the pairing process for teams. She couldn't help feeling a twinge of doubt it was that simple though when Shikamaru and Shino were following behind her as she made her way to the office in question.

The twinge became a stabbing sensation as when they reached the location, and they were all immediately ushered in by the Hokage's secretary. "Good, you're all here." The Hokage looked up from his desk at Kurenai, Shikamaru, and Shino as they all stepped in. "Please shut the door behind you."

Kurenai did as she was asked, and they all stood in silence as the Hokage continued writing something down. After a few more minutes, he set the pen aside and his steely gaze fell on the assembled team. "Today you have been assigned a team and while traditionally, you would face another test given by your jonin instructor to show you're ready to be genin... This will be a special case. I will be the one to administer your genin exam." Kurenai was shocked as this wasn't unheard of but instead highly frowned upon. He had trusted every jonin to give a fair evaluation test for their genin, even Hatake, but SHE was the one he had singled out?

"Why isn't the test I would have administered good enough of an evaluation for them Hokage... Sama?" She managed to get the question out in a tone that held barely contained rage, but without disrespecting him.

"Simple. This test is meant for all three of you." Shikamaru's lazy gaze snapped towards the Hokage, and suddenly he was going through a thousand scenarios. Shino kept his stoic appearance but what kind of test would require the jonin instructor to be necessary as well? Kurenai was livid.

"What the hell do you mean I need to be TESTED?! I'm a jonin, appointed after a jonin EXAM!"

"ENOUGH!" His tone was enough to cut through the two genin's thoughts and Kurenai's anger, but it wasn't enough to disguise how tired he sounded. "This isn't a question of ability... Far from it. I chose only the most capable I could for this, as it is the last chance for him. Kami help us all... I'll be honest, I'm being selfish with your team. Your team is the counter, the restraint he needs and hopefully something more for him."

_He makes it sound like... We're being given a psychopath. _Kurenai couldn't fathom why the Hokage was talking like he had been defeated. He had always been so easy going... So energetic, even for his age.

_Our teammate is unstable, uncontrollable, and unstoppable... Only the best have a chance at being his keeper. This might be... Interesting._ Shikamaru had already deduced what was going on, and was trying to find an outcome that was the least amount of work for him. After all very little sparked his interest for more than a moment.

_A team made specifically to counter one person. This is something to inform the clan._ Shino didn't know exactly what was going to happen but he knew he would need to at least ask his father for more details after whatever the Hokage had planned.

"Follow me." Without another word the Hokage rose and headed out from his office the two genin following in his wake, and Kurenai hesitating for a moment before gathering herself and following after her assigned genin. Nobody spoke as they walked, not even when it was clear they were headed to a very remote and isolated training ground. It took almost fifteen minutes of walking before they were completely surrounded by trees, and the forest seem to grow more dense and thicker with every step.

"Where are we going?" Shikamaru asked in a casual tone but his eyes kept darting around as if waiting for an ambush. When the Hokage didn't answer for a few minutes, they all figured it was because he wasn't going to. Their suspicions were confirmed when he came to a halt and held out an arm to stop them all.

"We're here. The test is very simple, all you need to do is walk to the center of the clearing." The Hokage wasn't surprised when they all looked at him as if he were insane. "That is all you need to accomplish to pass."

"So my test was supplemented... with THIS?" Kurenai was utterly floored by the 'test' they were being given. Walking into the center of a clearing was by no ways possibly a test, there had to be more. The Hokage nodded before stepping aside and gave a wordless command to step through. Following the unspoken order the newly formed team stepped through and immediately stopped at the edge of the clearing. Sitting in the grass watching a butterfly flutter about was a boy no older than Shino or Shikamaru. That is about where the similarities stopped.

He was wearing an open straight jacket so that his arms were not restrained, but they could tell that at one point it had been used to keep him docile. The wear on the leather implied nothing less. His shorts were so faded they might have been as old as the boy was, but they lacked the discoloration from sunlight, but was most noticeable wasn't his attire, it was his attitude. The second they had stepped into the clearing, he had glanced at them and in that single moment, he had written them off. He was so unaware they might as well have been trees that faded into the forest, accentuated by the fact he even began to hum to himself as he followed the fluttering butterfly.

Kurenai already knew what was ahead of her and suddenly she understood why this test was for her as well. The boy was whispered about in the jonin lounge and only when they were sure they wouldn't be overheard. She also noted that the butterfly was for one reason or another following a very simple path. She would have thought it were genjutsu if she didn't already know the boy couldn't possibly do any form of it. His chakra control was legendarily bad.

Shikamaru almost grinned. This was something unique, an unknown variable. His mind ran through thousands of scenarios in the blink of an eye and then they began again, with only minute differences. He calculated the boy's skills from none, to kage, to that of Kami and checked through his scenarios but nothing was certain. It was all so... troublesome. He almost grinned.

Shino was the worst off as his kikaichu buzzed within his body telling him about the boys reserves. He had more chakra coursing through his body than the Hokage he had just walked beside. Sending a single drone to the boy proved fruitless as once it had landed on him, it drained chakra greedily and immediately refused any and all calls to return until it burst from a flaring of the boy's chakra system. Nothing like this had occurred before. It didn't help that realizing the loss of one of his beetles meant he would be unable to drain the boy without using his entire swarm, and even then it looked like he might just shrug it off.

Naruto was busy playing with the butterfly. Subtly moving his hands with swift efficiency he kept a small breeze encasing the butterfly so he could study it. When he felt the others move he released it and turned his full, and undivided attention on them and smiled. Not that they could see it, as he had lost his shackles for something new. A face mask that 'protected' his lower jaw. Likely it would render him mute if he tried to say too much or anything they didn't need to hear.

"Alright Shino, Shikamaru, what can you tell about the boy in front of you?" Asking in a tone just above a whisper, they boys answered in kind. "He isn't a genin we know, not from the academy at any rate, but the way he's looking at us he's analyzing us... Like how a predator analyzes prey." Shino's response only confirmed Kurenai's suspicion that the boy in front of her was truly the one she believed. "My insects say his chakra levels are beyond compare. Realize, they had references in the Hokage. He is not normal."

Before any more whispering could take place, Naruto stood and swaying unsteadily made his approach. There was no aggression in his stance, he even swung his arms revealing that the jacket was long enough to cover his hands. Instinctively, they knew he was preparing something but were completely unready for what he did.

Naruto started laughing.

Falling to the side, he laughed hard enough to feel the need to grab his sides. The laughter went on for almost a minute with none of the newcomers moving in the slightest when it suddenly came to a halt and he was left laying on his back, staring at the sky. "Jiji said my 'team' would be stronger than me." As one they all realized the insult Naruto gave them and went on the defensive, separating slightly to allow room to dodge. "Jiji said 'They'll be able to stop you Naruto-kun. They'll help you understand.' Well all I understand is that a monster needs to be restrained, muzzled and beaten. I have the muzzle." Tapping his face plate as if to show them he was indeed muzzled. "I have restraints." Holding his arms straight up the straight jacket only slid down his arms to reveal his small hands were empty. Then his voice changed and a dangerous undertone took over. "I am not beaten." Still staring at the place he once lay, he seemed to just vanish before them.

_Genjutsu shouldn't be possible! He shouldn't know any and his chakra control is abysmal, no genjutsu should work under those conditions... Unless..._ Throwing her arms up barely offered her protection as Naruto seemed to appear out of thin air. _Speed._ The thought barely had time to complete itself before she was blasted off of him and sent into the forest. Once again standing peacefully Naruto turned to the now scared genin.

"I am not beaten." That was the only warning the two got as they dove to the left and right respectively, leaving Naruto alone, standing where they once had been. Shikamaru started formulating a plan but he had a serious limitation in how to deal with this speed demon of a blonde. _He's fast enough to 'disappear' but not closeing the gaps in an instant. He must be giving us a chance... but why?_ Dodging once again, as Naruto had vanished he found a suddenly speeding Shino slamming into him. With a gasp the two flew to the edge of the clearing rolling once before Naruto was behind them, catching them.

"You can't beat me." It wasn't condescending, it was fact stated almost... sadly? Shikamaru and Shino both knew they were outclassed, when they saw Kurenai back at the edge of the clearing staring intently at Naruto. Naruto's gaze was curious as if wondering when he noticed a sudden weight change to his hands as Shino and Shikamaru dissolved into flower petals and seemed to dissipate. Flaring his chakra once immediately dispelled the illusion and he saw that the two genin were still in his hands but that Kurenai wasn't at the edge of the clearing any longer. When a kick connected with Naruto's jaw he found out where Kurenai had gone.

Standing on one leg, with her other outstretched she couldn't keep the surprise from her face that the boy had moved only slightly, the only parts of him that had moved was his jaw as that was where she had hit him and his eyes were now locked on her. He must have rooted himself to the ground with chakra but that took control the boy shouldn't have. Jumping away from Naruto she cast a simple Illusion of herself running the length of the clearing before having it disperse. Shino and Shikamaru took the time the kick and distraction gave them to release themselves from Naruto's hold and dive for cover in the forest outside the clearing. Gathering the two genin Kurenai used shushin to jump a small distance away.

"Alright we need a plan against him. I'm not a physical fighter, so I can't match that speed of his. I use primarily genjutsu." Kurenai figured it was about time she broke down the situation and tried to command the team. The situation demanded it.

"We can't beat him." Shikamaru's remark caught him the ire of his two new teammates but he refused to acknowledge anything less than the facts. "None of us are physical fighters and he is running circles around us. I doubt that's all he can do, besides the fact that he broke my shadow possession in an instant when he went to attack you sensei. I specialized in the use of my family's jutsu in preparation for Ino-Shika-Cho, so I lack any other style. Unless you can do more than just genjutsu, or Shino knows some hidden jutsu, we're out of luck. Troublesome."

"No opponent is unbeatable. All humans have a weakness. He is physical, so genjutsu may be especially potent. He has speed and power but what of endurance?" Shino added his ideas but Shikamaru promptly shook his head.

"He can go days. He's sloppy, so he's not a taijutsu specialist he is simply just THAT fast. It's most likely that he's pouring chakra into his system but you said he has more chakra than Hokage-sama. In a battle of attrition, he wins. In a contest of speed, he wins. In a contest of strength, he WINS." Shikamaru stressed the last part before sighing. "But you're right. He's mentally unstable but for him I'm not sure if that counts as a 'weakness'. Did you hear what he said before attacking Kurenai-sensei? He thinks he's a monster and we're his assigned handlers. Something is wrong with him."

Kurenai felt a sliver of hatred worm it's way into her heart that the Hokage was this cruel. He had put an untested team against a child that had fought and killed ANBU level shinobi. Was he trying to make her fail? What the hell kind of test was this? "There has to be something, anything, that we can use to beat him. Hokage-sama said we could beat him, he's sure of it... Shikamaru, think again, is there really no way at all to win?"

About to repeat himself, Shikamaru stopped. "It's possible, if barely... You'll need to cast the strongest genjutsu you can muster against him, so I can possess him long enough for Shino's kikaichu to start draining him but, if any single thing goes wrong, we'll lose... And he might just kill us." Shikamaru looked between the two faces that were his team and could tell they didn't like his answer.

"A plan formed by Shikamaru is always superior. He claims a chance at victory, then we shall claim it." Shino reserved as always.

"Alright, if that's what you believe will work, we can try it." Kurenai had heard from Shikaku himself that his son was a genius unsurpassed in the Nara compound and that was something worth noting. A genius among geniuses, Shikamaru was going to be their strategic leader, a bitter irony for Kurenai as this was her first team but she would never be able to completely lead them. "Let's go." Moving the short distance back to the trees they found Naruto in much the same position they had left him in.

Wasting no time Kurenai immediately used her strongest genjutsu to create a perfectly similar world to the one they were currently in and manipulated it subtly to change the positions of where each of her students would appear from. To most it would be completely unnoticeable, and Kurenai was sure that Naruto wasn't going to be able to tell. After all she was the Genjutsu Mistress, the strongest genjutsu user in Konoha.

She suddenly found that her genjutsu had been broken almost the second she had cast it, but before she could give a warning to Shikamaru and Shino, they revealed themselves. Naruto gave her a knowing wink before disappearing once more. With fear in her heart she saw her two students rocket towards the center of the clearing with bruises on either side of their faces before being caught and promptly set on the ground by Naruto. "I feel generous today. Decide now, Jonin-san, who dies here, you or these two children? Who gets to live, and who dies?" Smiling without a care in the world, Naruto removed two kunai from Shino's pouch and set it against the two genin's necks.

Kurenai didn't even hesitate as she stepped forward. "Let them go." She was terrified of the child but she knew where her responsibilities lay. She couldn't allow Naruto to kill the two kids, even if it cost her life. Standing up Naruto once again vanished to appear closer.

"Are you sure you wish to die? After all, Jiji is gone. You could easily claim I killed them and you only just managed to escape. I'm a psychopath, a murderer, a monster." Grinning with each word, Naruto eased the blade closer to her.

"I'm sure. Please, just leave them alone." Suddenly Naruto stopped the blade that was making its way towards Kurenai. His eyes were glazed over and for a moment, Kurenai was afraid he was going to kill her then Shikamaru and Shino anyways but tears were suddenly visible in the dead eyes.

"Nee-chan?" Before Kurenai could make head or tails of what was happening Naruto's eyes changed back to the dead eyes they had been before. Dropping his arm, he spoke in a tone just above a whisper. "This isn't fun anymore." With that the boy disappeared, leaving the two kunai he had taken and a stunned Kurenai. Falling to her knees she took several deep breaths before wiping her eyes and checking on her students. Fortunately they were only unconscious, and only seemed to have surface injuries and bruises.

"You passed." She didn't need to turn around to know it was the Hokage speaking. "I told him you could beat him. I had complete faith in all three of you."

"You knew we would lose..." Kurenai straightened up, still refusing to turn around.

"I did." It wasn't condescending, it was just fact. They both knew the team hadn't been assembled to be the force that could destroy Naruto.

"You knew he might kill us." Anger seeped into her voice as she contemplated all the ways Naruto could have killed them without the scenario playing out so well.

"I did." Once more, a cold fact.

"What would you have done if he had?" Turning to finally face her leader she was shocked at the sadness etched into his features. She had expected the usual stoic leader, the Professor, The God of Shinobi that had fought through wars, seen friends die... What she saw was a frail old man. It scared her.

"I would kill him... Name a successor... Then commit suicide in a quiet part of the world. I hear the Land of Tea has such beautiful flower fields." In that moment Kurenai was speechless. "I have seen wars come and go, men fight and die, innocents die, and even been one that was labeled the murderer of entire villages Kurenai-chan... But I cannot remain strong after killing someone I love like family. You have given him a chance to return to humanity Kurenai."

"I can't teach him to be a shinobi..." Kurenai knew it would be impossible to guide the child, he was too far gone, already beyond broken but the Hokage gave a sad smile and spoke.

"Then teach him to be a human. Teach him to live." With those words Team Ten was formed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Introductions**

Naruto awoke the day after his initiation into team ten, incredibly irritable. He could have killed the jonin. He should have. He was going to… So why did his Nee-chan come to mind? She was dead, long since buried and forgotten by this village, what did it matter if he killed another monster before he was done in? Not bothering to analyze the situation further, something in Naruto changed. His furrowed brow lightened and his dark scowl transformed into a madman's grin, a little too wide for the face and showing far too many teeth to be considered a true grin.

After all, it didn't matter if he didn't kill the useless team, he was still free. Sure he had a couple of tag-a-longs, but he was FREE! Chuckling happily, he watched the ANBU tense in preparation for something. The air tensed further when Naruto jumped out of his bed in the Hokage's mansion ('To keep you safe Naruto-kun'), and decided to voice his thoughts aloud. "Hmmm, I'm a team now, don't teams go out and meet each other? Better go find my teammates!" Taking off at a sprint, Naruto jumped through an open window, leaving the ANBU 'escort' entirely behind.

"You'll never take me alive!" Laughing like an idiot, Naruto rushed even as the ANBU watched from their station in the shadows.

_"Shouldn't we go after him Team Leader?" _One of the new rookie ANBU signed to his captain, earning a shake of his head.

_"We are tasked with watching the house, there's other squads that are watching the rest of the village. Security practically doubled so he can run all he likes, there will always be at least two squads watching him." _With a shrug the rookie, turned back to his assigned duty…

Naruto ran across the rooftops enjoying the freeing sensation of the air across his face, violently whipping his long hair. Passing ANBU and jonin, they all paused as he sped by, reigning in the attempt to catch him as they had all been briefed last night about their newest 'genin'. Naruto, noticing the ninja weren't doing anything, huffed. "At least react a little… I'm terrifying! Fear me!" Jumping from annoyed to manic once more, Naruto decided that the civilians would be a better target. After all they all knew exactly what kind of mischief he enjoyed most.

Dropping into the middle of the Market District didn't have an immediate reaction like he expected, but as he slowly approached a shop a flicker of recognition passed across the store owner's features before the blood slowly drained from his face. Grin widening further, Naruto made sure to slow his walk and continue in a straight line for the one whom he had locked eyes with. "Remember me, shop keep?"

With that little comment, the shop keeper's fragile grasp on his fear snapped and he screamed, "Monster!" Dropping the small broom he was using to sweep his shop, he rushed into his store, causing more panic as new eyes turned and saw the boy walking casually down the street. In Naruto's opinion it was fairly impressive how quickly the civilians dropped everything they were doing in order to escape. From the busiest store to the lowest beggar, it took only seconds for the street to clear, the chaos following every person that abandoned the market.

"That was fun! NEXT!" Chasing them would have been fun but Naruto only had a single day to make first impressions. The ninjas didn't seem to care so they were already crossed off the list, but civilians seemed to be out of the loop. He needed to fix that, immediately. "Guess who's back! That's right Konoha, Monster's out of his cage and he's ready to play! Come on, let's play!" A loud chant, that only grew in pace as Naruto looked for other places to 'kindly' say hello. "Let's play, let's play, let's play, let's play, let's play, let's play…" Over and over Naruto said the words, suddenly stopping as he saw the next place to visit.

"Genin Uzumaki, you are-" the ANBU, not just ignored but, disregarded as Naruto took off for his target. "-requested by the Hokage…" Naruto pretended not to hear, quickly running to the public baths, landing in front of it. Casually walking in, Naruto walked up to the receptionist and made a show of waving his open straight jacket taking pleasure in the fear dilated eyes and ram-rod straight spine.

"You wouldn't believe how long it's been since I've been an open bath. Not the blood kind." Laughing at the squeak of fear the receptionist gave before ducking behind the counter, Naruto walked forward and was about to slam open the door to the men's side when he felt a presence behind him and was promptly smacked over the head.

"Naruto, what did I say about being good?" Sarutobi could only just contain the sigh he felt should be released upon finding his newest genin causing havoc before even the first stack of paperwork could be dumped onto his desk. Naruto for his part looked up with faked wide eyed innocence, tears in the corner of his eyes as he covered the spot where he had been hit with both hands.

"I am being good!" A quirked eyebrow. "Relatively good!" Further raising of an eyebrow. "Objectively better than my last visit!"

"You killed people the last time you visited Naruto."

"See! Totally being better!"

"Naruto, I heard about the market."

"Sorta? I mean, nobody got hurt." Pinching the bridge of his nose the wizened Hokage could only just keep from dropping his face into his hand.

"There were several injuries from the mad rush to get away from you."

"But I didn't do it!"

"The injuries or the chaos?"

"The first one, I totally freaked out the people. Not my fault they don't know to proceed in an orderly line away from danger, casually and with all due speed."

"Naruto..." trying to will his thoughts into words that would reach the blonde, he gave it up as a lost cause and instead went with what would probably end in the least amount of collateral damage. "Aren't you supposed to be meeting your team about now?"

Cocking his head to the side, looking stumped Naruto mumbled out, "I thought you told me I was meeting my team at ten?" Getting a nod, the Hokage pointed at a clock conveniently sitting on the wall above the receptionist. "Big hand on the ten… little hand on the two… I'M LATE!" Shouting in shock Naruto turned to the Hokage and them immediately shrugged. "Guess I'll have to try again tomorrow."

"Aren't you supposed to rush of in some dramatic fashion, and leave me to clean up your mess before I can make you?"

"I mean, I would but what's a team going to teach me? I fight ANBU when I'm bored. Besides, I didn't even do a quarter of the things I was planning to, so it's not much of a mess. More an inconvenience."

"You still have to attend your team meetings, just like any other genin." Giving a sigh of defeat, Naruto promptly fell on his face.

"But they're so weeeeeeeeak, I'll be booooooooored! I won't survive such prolonged boredom!" The ANBU shuffled nervously as the conversation dragged on. This was the DNE child? He just seemed like any other whiny kid that thought he could get away with not showing up to his classes, not at all like the immortal monster they had expected.

"Get up Naruto, we're going to go introduce you to your teammates. And so help me if you drag your feet, I will just drag you the whole way!" Getting a thumbs up as the only response, the Hokage proceeded to reach down and grab Naruto's ankle in a vice grip. "ANBU, return to stations, I will return shortly." Snapping off a solute at the order, the ANBU almost faulted when the Hokage made good on his word and began dragging Naruto by the ankle to his team's training ground.

"Ah, I was kidding! Let me go, I'll walk!"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear that Naruto-kun, you seem to have hit a rather large rock in the road."

"What rock?"

"This one."

"Ah! What the hell! Let me go Jiji! I learned my lesson! I'm sorry!" The two quickly distancing themselves down the road left quite a few stunned spectators not quite sure what to do. The ANBU looked to each other, shrugged once and immediately returned to their posted positions. The civilians were even more confused as they had gone from complete terror to shock as not only wasn't the blond demon left alone but he was on a TEAM!

* * *

Kurenai couldn't help looking nervously at the two genin under her care as they waited for their team meeting at ten thirty. The Hokage had personally guaranteed that Naruto would be here but as the minutes ticked down, with no sign of them, she couldn't help but think that the team was considered 'unworthy' of their team status and she was being played. As her timer finally ticked and reached the appointed time, she let out a sigh of relief.

"It looks like Naruto won't be joining us, so-"

"DAMN IT OLD MAN! I WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"

"-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY AM I YELLING! LET GO OF MY LEG ALREADY!"

"-"

"NO I WILL NOT 'CALM DOWN'! IT WAS FUNNY FOR THE FIRST THIRTY SECONDS, AND IT'S BEEN TWENTY MINUTES!"

"- and maybe you'll listen the next time I tell you not to be slow?" Stepping into the same clearing as team ten, the Hokage dragged Naruto all the way up to Kurenai before promptly dropping him.

"You suck Jiji…" Crossing his arms and glaring up at Sarutobi, Kurenai could already tell today would be the start of a very long, very painful day.

"Now, I do apologize for Naruto's lateness, he was indisposed-"

"You dragged me by my ankle through half the village!" Briefly pausing at that, the Hokage then continued.

"Very indisposed. At any rate, I have business to attend to, as Naruto has made me quite late as well."

"Bullshit old man! You made yourself late!"

"Hmm, Naruto seems to suddenly be interested in personally and closely studying the rest of the roads in the village." Looking down at Naruto with a smile, in an instant Naruto was behind Kurenai pointed at him.

"Sensei, Jiji is being mean to me! Hit him or something!" Barely suppressing the urge to scream and jump away from Naruto, Kurenai sent a look at her leader, something akin to pleading and a deep confusion that needed an explanation.

"Kurenai-chan, let Naruto know I can be much meaner, I control which missions he gets to go on." Laughing at the gasp Naruto gave, the Hokage left in a flicker and a breeze of leaves, leaving the team to themselves. The moment after he had left, Naruto promptly fell onto his back staring up at the sky. Stepping away from the blond Kurenai tried to bring her team meeting back into order.

"It seems Naruto will be joining us… So let's start with introductions. After all not all of you were in the academy. Shikamaru you can go first. Pick a teammate and try and recall everything you know about them. "

"Kurenai Yuhi, Genjutsu Mistress of Konoha, known for her fanatical obsession with advancing the genjutsu arts, enjoying sake with Anko Mitarashi the Snake Mistress, and, once upon a time, flower pressing with Hinata Hyuga the heir to the Hyuga clan. Dislikes those that believe genjutsu is an inferior ninja art, and those that abuse their status to harm others. Hobbies are expanding her genjutsu arsenal, drinking sake, and dating Asuma Sarutobi." Shino tilted his head lightly as it Shikimaru spoke.

"Your research was more in depth than mine." Shakimaru shrugged lightly. "Tactical leader is well informed."

"Eh, not really. I mean, Asuma doesn't shut up about her and I was expected to be on his team so…" A casual shrug ended the trailing sentence and left the clearing in silence.

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but I am a member of the team…" Turning to Shino, she made to choose him next when Naruto spoke up.

"Shino Aburame, the prodigy of the Aburame clan. Fanatical about his insects, he has taken them to new heights as he breeds his kikaichu with just about every insect he can find to see if there is any biological differences or superiority in his new breed. He has single handedly breed his kikaichu with every insect found within the walls of Konoha, and has already been recognized as a Breeder, a title given to an Aburame after they have introduced a twenty variant breeds, or one unique breed. He has submitted no less than thirty variants, ranging from common, to a single rare breed. Some in the clan believe he will become the next Master Breeder, and the youngest one in clan history at that. Shino's kikaichu are a thing of fear within the Aburame clan walls as they are known to be quite territorial, and have cannibalized and enslaved the queens of two other Aburame children. His official title is 'Aburame Heir' and his unofficial moniker is 'True Hive'. Likes his kikaichu, investigating the mutagenic biology of said insects, and his family. Dislikes anyone who kills insects in fear or disgust, bug spray, and tomato farmers for reasons unspecified but theorized to be in relation to the other two dislikes. Hobbies are insect collecting, insect breeding, and information gathering through the use of insects." Shino stared at Naruto, whom had recited the entire speech with his eyes closed and with a lazy drawl.

"The ANBU are mouthy." His comment earned a grin from the blond, and a nod.

"Makes you wonder why such stoic and quite people like the Aburame are so rarely seen in public… Almost seems like they're off doing something else…" Before Naruto could add more, Shino took his turn for introductions.

"Shikamaru Nara, the Nara heir, fanatical in finding answers to anything he deems a challenge and has a genuine interest in, while giving the impression of a very lazy and uninterested child. Likes are a cover, as are dislikes as information is power and Shikamaru believes that the only way to play a game is if you've stacked the deck in your favor beforehand. Referred to in the Nara Clan as the 'Unparalleled Genius' and by the whispered title, 'Tactician of War'. Hobbies are falsified, but he does enjoy a good mind game."

Laughing Naruto looked at Kurenai waiting for her to try and give information and failing to think of what to say. "Seems like everyone on this team is fucked up upstairs. We're going to be the best of the teams. Easy to make murderers out of psychos. I hate you all just a little less, I think I'll move you down on the list of people I'm going to kill and label as an 'unfortunate accident.'" Kurenai could only look on horrified as the other two kids didn't seemed phased in the slightest.

"Such a shame, since I plan to put you in the line of fire at literally every opportunity, as Tactical Leader I'll have to make the most of 'The Immortal Demon'. Going to be hard to kill us off when you're taking a hail of kunai to the everything." Naruto grinned as Shikamaru lazily fell back and casually announced the fact.

"My kikaichu have always wanted to be on an all meat diet. As an immortal I'm sure you won't miss an arm or leg too much. Do you grow it back or am I going to have to spread out the target area?" Shino's neutral expression didn't falter for even a second, and one could almost hear the amusement that his normally monotone voice carried."

Kurenai could only shake her head as the team 'bonded'. "Team, stop with the morbid jokes… The last 'unintroduced' member is, as you've heard, Naruto Uzumaki. Called 'The Immortal Demon' as any injury he has sustained is made non-fatal by virtue of the sheer amount of chakra pounding through his coils. The running theory is that if all of his chakra is being poured into the regenerative aspects of his Uzumaki blood, but the jury is still out…" Trailing off as she didn't have any other information to add, Kurenai made to stand and look down at 'her' team.

Shino, Shikamaru, and Naruto… One psych risk with a kill count high enough to make a jonin proud, and two potential psych risks that apparently were stable enough to keep just this side of the line of the laws. She'd have to mention this to the Hokage if he didn't already know… Or demand answers if he did. The potentially dangerous children all looking up at her as she shrugged and sighed. "Come on team. We're going to get a test mission to see how well you can work together." _Hopefully, terribly enough the team gets disbanded and I don't have to deal with three potential time bombs._

With those thoughts in her head, Kurenai began her first day of missions, and the start of Team Ten's new nicknames. Team Trouble, Team Psychotic, and Team Flee-on-Sight.

* * *

-With Team Seven (Sakura, Sasuke, Hinata)-

Sasuke glared at Hinata and Hinata glared at Sasuke. It had been two hours since their team was supposed to 'meet' and Kakashi had still not made himself known. They would be waiting at least another hour as Kakashi had no intention of going down until they could unify their anger and aim it together at the souce of their ire, namely, him. Flipping yet another page and ignoring the pitiful and pleading look Sakura shot at the two other members of her team to try and calm them, Kakashi couldn't help but wonder if this particular method would actually work…

"Eh, I'll try it for a month or ten and see how it goes."

That decided, he once more returned to the dossier he was reading with a fake Icha-Icha cover over it, giggling at some of the things the information teams had 'added' to 'enrich' character profiles. Particularly the note that, '_You all better appreciate the work that goes into this! Do you know how annoying it is to follow a guy that boasts about his "epic" sword skills, and is swinging around a fucking club? DO YOU?' _

Ah, the evaluation section of the bingo book, always good for a laugh. Especially given all the theories on some of the higher names on there. Flipping the page again, his smile fell as he heard his team bickering. "Guess I should go in there and stop it before they take it too far… Damn it all."

* * *

-With Team Eight (Ino, Choji, Kiba)-

"WILL YOU SHUT UP DOG BOY!?" Asuma couldn't help but give a sympathetic wince at the volume of Ino's yelling and that was without Inuzuka assisted hearing.

"Will you shut up you blond HARPY!?" Kiba growled out the last bit and immediately regretted it as Ino's eyes narrowed and her volume dropped.

"What did you just say?" It took all of three seconds for Kiba to realize he had probably screwed up. Immediately after that realization he took the advice his mom and sister had always given him about women.

"I called you a harpy, because you won't shut up and you're so damn LOUD!" _Stick to your guns Kiba, you're an alpha, and women respect an alpha mentality._

Absolute silence and Kiba actually took a second to hope that his mom's advice was actually working before further examining Ino's face and noticing she was turning a shade of red Kiba had subtly found all woman could achieve called, 'Righteous Fury Red'. Sending some chakra to muffle his ears, he suffered through the verbal assault that was Ino's response while Choji and Asuma watched.

Munching on some chips as Ino tore into Kiba, Choji looked up to Asuma at the same time he looked down.

"Twenty on Ino not stopping before Kiba points out we're supposed to be getting our first team training today."

"Twenty she keeps going." Asuma grinned as Choji chuckled and offered a chip.

* * *

**AN: Ya, it's been a while. No, the story isn't dead. No, I don't plan to humanize Naruto. People keep bitching at me about how I finished the last chapter, so I'll put in a bit of info here. Naruto is going to stay insane. You don't just recover from that kind of crap, especially when your standing orders are going to be 'Kill anybody who isn't wearing the same headband.' I put that in the same way I put in that the Hokage is too blind to see he's already gone. He's emotionally compromised. Something I see touched on a LOT but never followed through. Everyone has a weakness, the Hokage's just happened to be bright orange and wear a smile. Say the right things and bam, Naruto 'SEEMS' better, emphasis on the 'SEEMS' there for anyone STILL confused. After all, the summary even includes 'INSANE Naruto', 'DARK Naruto'.**

**Further expanding on why I chose Shikamaru and Shino. I feel like those two have lots of potential, not as the 'good guys' but as broken individuals. Shikamaru, broken by his massive intellect ruining all that he sees, the world is a puzzle and he solved it ages ago. The blue sky he stares at dulling the edge as he thinks, and thinks, evaluates choices, decisions, prepares, and in a moment scrubs that all away as new information is revealed. I can see him easily falling prey to the fallacy of intellect. 'I am smart enough to do whatever I want.'**

**Shino, what little information they actually expended on his character doesn't share much of what he's really like. I mean, he considers himself friends with Naruto in the show but... why? I mean, literally everyone forgets Shino at one point or another, and that includes his team. So instead of making it comedic... Maybe that's what Shino WANTS. He's stoic because he's SUPPOSED to fade into the background. Maybe the constantly stoic Aburame are that way because it's hard to come off being ANBU? Food for thought at any rate.**

**So, for the last time, NOT DEAD. More eventually, I just have shit that I do.**

**To those that have been waiting, hope you enjoy a glimpse at what I got planned. To those that flame, for you: 'le shrug'. I'm writing this the way I want, and taking the time to plan things. I have ideas for chapters, it's connecting the dots that takes a while. That and life gets in the way.**


End file.
